Transcript starting at 7:50 minutes:
I first started questioning whether I was trans or not when I was 16, and the only image I had of a trans woman was pretty much the replicating 1950s femininity.
It was just like “I don’t want to do that, I guess transitioning is not for me.” And then later when I came out as genderqueer - also you used the term CAMAB (coercively assigned male at birth) - um that there’s like in the genderqueer community around me everyone was coercively assigned female at birth and I had zero role models for what it would look like to be genderqueer and having been assigned male at birth. And so like I had role models but if I dressed like them then I would just have … I did dress like them and I was just seen as a cis guy really and that was hard.
And the one funny story is that my first trans conference was Gender Odyssey, the FTM conference in Seattle, and I ran into a few trans women there and it hit me - I was like “of course! to find trans women like me I should go to the FTM conference!” There were three of us, we got in a corner, we started talking about how “yeah, I’m really looking forward to growing breasts so I can bind them”, and like performing as drag kings and stuff like that. And I was really lucky because my main trans mentor was a feminist trans man and I didn’t realize his roots until several years later but he actually came out after performing as a drag king for a while in a troupe that was predominantly trans women drag kings and so like that’s my roots’ roots.
It’s really useful to know that history even if it’s not widely spread, ‘cause I remember several years after that I saw someone online saying “I’m a trans woman and I’m a drag king and I’m the first ever to do it.” And it’s like “you know it feels that way, and I know it feels that way, but there are a decent number of us.”
This is so fucking powerful for me.
I’m not the only one who binds.